I stopped growing and moving forward. I got crippling anxiety about jamming- my hands-down favorite position. Even going to practice became torture. I’d drive in feeling like there was an anvil on my chest and rabid ferrets in my stomach. Everything I flubbed got magnified HUGELY out of proportion, I imagined everyone was staring at me thinking what a loser I was. I made the Travel Team roster and what should have been the highest accomplishment of my derby life so far felt like punishment. I could see everything I’d worked all year for turning to dust, and I was the only one to blame. I almost gave up- quit altogether, telling myself that if it wasn’t fun anymore, it wasn’t worth it.

But nothing worth doing is ever easy.

Everyone’s breakdown is different, and everyone gets past it in their own way. While I am definitely not entirely past mine, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to my derby family and their unwavering support, seeing good in me even when I couldn’t, pushing me on when I wanted to give up- I have finally turned a corner. I jammed yesterday- for the first time in months. And it felt good. It felt right. And today, I’m a little less scared than I was the day before.

So if you’re asking yourself, “Why is she telling me this? It doesn’t make derby sound very awesome”, then you’re not who I’m writing this for. I’m writing it for all those women who KNOW derby is awesome, but are having a hard time remembering that right now. Who think that they aren’t good enough, or that they are the only person to ever hit the wall and just want to chuck it.

I also want to write this for the teammates of those girls. They need you. They need your support and your encouragement. They may seem to be coasting, or slacking, or half-assing it in drills- but there could be something bigger behind it, something they are scared to tell you for fear of looking like a loser who can’t cut it. Just be there. Be supportive of everyone, because one positive interaction could be the difference between a derby girl and a former derby girl.

So my advice is this:  Stop looking at yourself. Start looking at your teammates. THEY are the ones looking at you, and they aren’t carrying all your baggage. If someone you respect and admire tells you that you did something good, BELIEVE THEM. Make new friends, ask for help. Just don’t give up.

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

37 – This is my skater number (yes, I’m a fan of Clerks).

4.5 – My skate size.

25 – The number of laps I’m supposed to skate in 5 minutes. I can actually pretty consistently hit 30.

2 minutes (or 120 seconds) – The full length of one jam.

30 minutes – The length of one half of a bout.

45 – The angle I try to hit when executing a force-out (someone grab me a protractor).

70% of 2 out of 3 – The number of practice days a week I’m required to attend. This really is like a math problem – and sometimes sounds more to me like “if a train is leaving the station…”

21 – The number of months I’ve been skating.

The one number that I hear about a lot is my ranking, especially around evaluation time. It’s important, since the top 14 women make up our travel team, plus two alternates. I’ve had several of these numbers. The first time, it was 30/31. The second was 19/28. Right now, I’m 14/26.

What I’ve learned about this number is that it’s pretty similar to that saying “you’re only as old as you feel.” In derby practice, you’re only ranked as high as you feel. Some days, when I’m sick or I can’t get work/life/whatever out of my mind at practice, I feel like that 30 again. Some days, when I’m on and I’m able to help my jammer past the toughest blocker in scrimmage, I feel like number 1.

While this number is important, it’s one that is completely transient. I love watching the Fresh Meat learn and advance, and they give me the drive to keep learning myself. As a self-proclaimed optimist-in-training, I try for more of the “good days” in my head, even if my feet don’t always listen.

I know that my ranking will go up and down, and I’m enjoying my time learning and skating with the women of our travel team.  Sometimes, the numbers are hard to remember. Sometimes, math is hard.

But, Me + Derby = <3. Always.

It was the last bout of the season, an interleague, and I was up to jam again with 5 minutes left on the clock. I got on a power jam and had a couple grand slams built up until I took a very solid hit to the inside and felt the snap in my ankle when I landed. I had never broken a bone before, so I had no idea what it was supposed to feel like. All I knew was that THIS pain was the most intense I’d felt. The EMTs helped me off the rink and examined my ankle, which had already started to swell. I was still running high on adrenaline from jamming and told them it felt ok, they said it was probably just sprained (which I was more than happy to believe). So I put my skates back on and stupidly told my coach I could help block in the final jams of the game. Thankfully, he (and my teammates) were not stupid enough to listen to me. We ended up winning the game and I was so excited I skated the victory lap with my teammates. It wasn’t until I exited and rolled over the rope that my ankle crunched again and sent a new wave of pain up my leg. My teammates helped hold me up for the post-game pictures AND the awards which I had received MVP jammer for scoring the most points. After people started to clear out and I took off my skates again, my teammates told me that I WAS going to the ER. I thank them now for having the common sense that I clearly lack, for being more stubborn than me. One of them even accompanied me to the hospital (thank you again, B.A.B.S!). Found out it WAS broken (fractured distal fibula), got it temporarily wrapped, some pain meds, crutches, then was off to the after party!! When I arrived and hobbled up to the party room, everyone erupted in applause and cheers. I’ll never forget what that felt like. Oddly enough, at that moment, I felt my derby life was complete. I had made the rostered team our first season as a new league, we had an amazing record, I’d won MVP jammer and broken myself in the process. Everything a girl could ask for.

In 7 weeks I was back on skates again, determined to make it back for the first bout of our second season in September. That bout came and went, and I can proudly say that I jammed against one of our toughest teams this season. We lost, but it didn’t really feel like it. I’d overcome my fear of jamming all over again. Not just the fear of failure and letting my team down that’s always there, but also my new fear of falling and re-breaking myself. My teammates were behind me 100% and believed in me. Once again, derby has taught me to keep pushing forward and never give up no matter how afraid you are (or why).

So to anyone who is new to derby, or thinking about joining, derby is so much more than just a sport. These women will be there for you when you get hurt, they’ll be there to encourage you when you feel like all you do is fail, and will be triumphant with you when you succeed. You’ll learn to have confidence in yourself and will push yourself further physically and mentally than you ever thought possible. You’ll make and achieve your own unique derby goals. You’ll get in the best shape of your life. And you’ll have fun at the after parties.

Something you should know about me – I am not a graceful person. When it comes to athletics, I’m a downright disaster.

When I was 12, I broke my ankle at a school track meet. I severely sprained my ankle when I was 17 playing badminton in gym class (yes, badminton). This led to reconstructive ankle surgery at 18, and to a broken foot by age 21. I felt like I couldn’t commit to sports after this – I just didn’t think I could keep up.

I had recently quit a job traveling the country when I started contacting derby leagues in my area. It was time for me to find my new adventure.  I didn’t know anyone that played with any of the teams in my area, and against my overwhelming inner introverted girl, I showed up to Fresh Meat night all by myself.

It didn’t matter that I could barely stand up on skates, or was winded after just a few laps. These women understood that I wanted to be there, that I was going to do my best, and that was all they needed to know. The first time I made 25 laps in 5 minutes, I had a veteran skater right behind me – her encouragement pushed me to keep going. The next time we skills tested, I made 30 laps.

The most incredible thing happened through all this. These women not only encouraged my success, but celebrated it with me. They wanted to pick me up when I fell down (literally and figuratively). And I did the same with them. It has now been over a year since my first day, and I’m constantly amazed by the changes I’ve gone through and the accomplishments I’ve made with my teammates. I look back at the person I was then – self-conscious, 40 pounds heavier (!), work-obsessed, hugging the wall – and I feel like I’ve found a new focus.

Quite simply, roller derby helped to change my life. It may not be an easy road, but I know I’ll never have to skate alone.

Well, a recovering smartass, anyway.

Growing up a book-smart nerd, skinny, and plain, I discovered pretty early that dorks don’t get beat up if they’re funny.  So, I learned to be quick-witted and cover up my raging insecurities with a sharp tongue.  A geek who yearned to be a rebel, I did my best to be cool, usually failing miserably. When I was 19, I had my son and put my rebel dreams in a box, waiting for the day when I might let free my inner punk rocker.

Enter roller derby.

I had always thought roller derby was bad ass. Watching “Whip It” did nothing to cool my girl crush on the sport and the gorgeous rock stars that played it.  Upon discovering that there was a roller derby team in my town, I had to try it. I contacted the president and begged for a place in their Fresh Meat class. I thought, I can roller skate, I’m fairly coordinated, hopefully I won’t make a complete ass out of myself. Little did I know I’d make much, much, more than that.

I was so terrified my first night, I didn’t know if I’d be able to come back. Roller derby was serious work. No skating around throwing elbows, looking glam in booty shorts and fishnets. It was burning muscles, sweaty pads, aching knees, hundreds of rules, and buckets of strategy. It was 20 other girls looking at you and counting on you to do your best and know your job. No every-girl-for-herself here. As usual, I covered up my terror and insecurity behind smart-assery. I was so skinny. And small. And bony. I had never been in a place that revered WOMEN before. Real women.  The kind on whom booty shorts look… right. Mass and momentum mean more in derby than your jeans size. Add another thing to my growing list of “maybe I made a mistake”.

But I came back.

And I kept coming back. Mostly because derby gets inside you. It gives you a family, a group of women and action figures who know you, who have seen you at your lowest, when you’re on the floor, panting and fighting not to puke, smelling like something a cat pulled out of a garbage can. They cheer you on just when you think you’re at the edge, one second from giving up.  When the pace line goes on forever and you’re crying inside, wishing you could just lie down, you keep going for them. Because you want to be the best teammate you can be, for them.  They celebrate your triumphs as much as you do. They praise you when you need it and correct you when you need it.  They pull you in and surround you with misfit love. For the wannabe rebel, it’s a perfect fit.

But more than that, derby makes you believe. It makes you believe you can be strong, that you can be fast, that you can be better than you are right now.  4 months ago, I could skate in circles and that was about it. Now, I can plow stop, crossover, skate 25 in 5, and do dozens of other things that amaze me every day. I feel stronger than I ever have. I work my ass off at every practice and can’t wait to come back and do it again next time. I believe in the person I think derby is helping me become. And I believe derby can help you, too.

Strength, belief, family, self-esteem. Derby means all of those things to me. And I find that now that my inner rebel has found her home, my smartass side doesn’t come out so much anymore.  Unless your  ass is blocking my jam… then it’s on.

The Brighton Roller Dollz played an intraleague derby match entitled “Valentine Vendetta” at the Rollerama II roller rink in Brighton on Saturday, February 11, with the teams taking on names from popular red-colored candies at Valentine’s Day; when all was said and done, the Jawbreakers had skated to a hard fought 96-59 victory over the Red Hots. The Jawbreakers were led by their Jammer MVP (and captain) Lost and Found and Blocker MVP Murder City Mistress; the Red Hots were led by Jammer MVP Distemperment and Blocker MVP (and captain) Vincent Van Ho.

Rosters

Red Hots: 2am After Party; 11 alterKATEshun; 22 Ana Matronique; Lucky13 B.A.B.S. the Bruiser; 20 CarolDactyl; 1393 De’Vil; 1cc Distemperment; 3D Dropper Down Dirty; h8r Kasey Bonez; 313 Skid Rock; 72 SteF-BOMB; 31 Sunny Anarchy (asscap); 28 Vincent Van Ho (captain); 27 Woody WouldDeck-Her.

Jawbreakers: G6 Asian Zing; 24 Bobbi Pro-Hurt; 37 Calamitous Intent; 88 Crushendo; 796 Dewey Decimauler; 6776 Little Sinister; 70L Lost and Found (captain); 1221 LoveTap; 34 Luck B. Alady; 1200 Miss Bea Haven; 40cal Murder City Mistress (asscap); 0 Serratonin Smackdown; 4 Shameless Shananagans; 1019 Slammy Con Paine; 333 Zom B. Itch.

1st Half

Once again the evening started off with a demo lap to explain basic roller derby, then the Jawbreakers’ Lost and Found opened the scoring with an 8-0 jam win over the Red Hots’ alterKATEshun when KATE got penalized with a major penalty for cutting the track, thus heading right to the penalty box and handing the ‘breakers their first power jam of the night. Lost and Found did get one grand slam (for lapping the opposing jammer) in that jam. Crushendo added to the Jawbreakers’ lead with a 4-0 win in jam 2, and Miss Bea Haven added a 5-0 grand slam win in jam 3 (also helped by the Red Hots’ jammer, De’Vil, heading to the box with a cutting the track major penalty), and the Jawbreakers had a 17-0 lead right from the get-go. Asian Zing added a 2-0 win in jam 4 to up the lead to 19-0. Finally, in jam 5, the Red Hots got their first jam win, a 1-0 squeaker by alterKATEshun, although the score stood as 19-1 for the ‘breakers.

Jam 6 went to the ‘breakers, 4-0, with Crushendo taking advantage of a Red Hots blocker in the box. The Red Hots then got a little offense of their own in jams 7 and 8 with De’Vil and Distemperment skating to 4-0 and 3-0 jam wins, respectively, to cut the lead to 23-8. The Red Hots got their 5th consecutive lead jammer in jam 9, and alterKATEshun made two scoring passes to Lost and Found’s one pass to win the jam 8-4. The Hots got a little closer in jam 10 with a 4-0 jam win by Woody WouldDeck-Her, and then trailed 27-20.

The Jawbreakers’ Miss Bea Haven opened the lead a little with a 4-0 jam 11 win, but then Distemperment closed it again for the Red Hots with an 8-0 win (with a slam) in jam 12, making the score 31-28 for the Jawbreakers. The Red Hots blockers in jam 12, AfterParty, Kasey Bonez, SteF-BOMB, and Dropper Down Dirty, totally prevented the ‘breakers’ jammer, Calamitous Intent, from ever escaping the pack on her initial pass. Distemperment could perhaps have scored more but instead she earned a major penalty to send her off the track, and to top it off, received another minute in the box for insubordination as she didn’t immediately heed the referee’s instructions to head for the box. That meant she would have to spend the next two minutes of jam time sitting in the sin bin. The Jawbreakers’ Lost and Found promptly took advantage of the power jam situation as she cruised to a 20-0 win in jam 13, gaining 4 grand slams along the way. She was also helped by having a Red Hots blocker, AfterParty, also in the box, and when AfterParty exited the box during the jam she was sent right back into the box with a major for back blocking. That upped the ‘breakers’ lead to 51-28.

The final three jams of the half saw the Jawbreakers marginally increase their lead. The ‘breakers’ Crushendo won jam 14 by 5-0 (with a slam), then the Red Hots’ B.A.B.S. the Bruiser won jam 15 by 4-0, and the ‘breakers’ Dewey Decimauler finished off the half with a 4-0 jam 16 win to make the half-time score 60-32 in favor of the Jawbreakers.

In the 1st half, the Jawbreakers took advantage of three “power jams” where the Red Hots’ jammer was off the track cooling her skates in the penalty box, outscoring the Red Hots 33-0 in those three jams. Take those three power jam opportunities away, and the half-time score would have been 32-27 in favor of the Red Hots. So, just as in hockey, having an advantage in numbers of skaters on the floor, especially when the other team has their only scorer, their jammer, in the box, usually makes a big difference in the game. Besides the 4 minutes their jammers spent in the box, the Red Hots also had 11 minutes in penalties to their blockers. The Jawbreakers lost blockers to the box for only 7 minutes in the 1st half, with zero minutes of lost jammer time.

In the 1st half, defensively, the Red Hots captain Vincent Van Ho was hitting anything that moved on the track, particularly if it moved too slow to get out of the way of her heavy blocking! She totalled 15 actions (blocks and assists), including 5 jammer knockdowns. Her teammates AfterParty and SteF-BOMB turned in fine blocking performances with 14 and 10 actions, respectively. AfterParty also had 4 jammer knockdowns. The Jawbreakers’ Murder City Mistress was dealing out some serious damage of her own with 12 total actions in the half. Teammates Slammy Con Paine had 11 actions, and LoveTap had 10 actions.

2nd Half

The Jawbreakers cooled the Red Hots’ fire to open the 2nd half, outscoring their opposition 18-0 in those three jams. Miss Bea Haven opened with a 10-0 double grand slam win when Red Hots’ jammer, Distemperment, went to the box with a major penalty for cutting the track. Asian Zing got a 3-0 win for the ‘breakers in jam 2, also helped when the Red Hots’ jammer, CarolDactyl, went to the box. Jam 3 started off strangely when the Red Hots were able to substitute for their jammer (CarolDactyl) in the box just before the jam started, electing to have alterKATEshun wear the star whilst seated in the sin bin. (Carol was apparently not injured, as she skated in jam 4 as a blocker.) No matter, the Jawbreakers’ Lost and Found skated to a 5-0 grand slam jam win. After those first three jams, the Jawbreakers held a nifty 78-32 lead over the Red Hots.

Jam 4 went to the Red Hots’ Woody WouldDeck-Her 1-0, and jam 5 was won by the Jawbreaker’s Miss Bea Haven 2-0. Calamitous Intent won jam 6 for the ‘breakers by 7-0, earning a grand slam along the way. alterKATEshun got a 4-0 win the Red Hots in jam 7, followed by a 4-2 jam 8 win by the ‘breakers’ Crushendo over Woody WouldDeck-Her, aided by Woody making a side-trip to the penalty box for a major low block. The Red Hots then substituted Distemperment for Woody in the box between jams, but although the ‘breakers’ Miss Bea Haven got lead jam and Distemperment never made it out of the pack (once she got back on the track), jam 9 ended 0-0, no doubt aided by the blocking of the Red Hots’ Ana Matronique, AfterParty, SteF-BOMB, and Vincent Van Ho. Jam 10 went to the ‘breakers’ Asian Zing, making the score 94-39 for the Jawbreakers.

The Red Hots finally mounted some offense late in the 2nd half. The Red Hots’ alterKATEshun won jam 11 by 2-0, then her teammate Woody WouldDeck-Her won jam 12 by a 9-2 margin over Crushendo (Woody earning a slam), then teammate Distemperment also earned a slam in a 5-0 jam 13 win, and teammate CarolDactyl won jam 14 by 4-0. That closed the gap to 96-59, but there were only a few minutes left in the game. The Jawbreakers’ Lost and Found broke a drought of four straight jams of the Jawbreakers not getting lead jammer when she did get the lead in jam 15, although she called it off as a 0-0 jam. Then, in the game’s final jam, neither the RH’s Woody WouldDeck-Her nor the JB’s Crushendo could get lead jammer, and in spite of the jam going the full two minutes, it also ended as a 0-0 jam, making the final score 96-59 for the Jawbreakers.

Once again, the Red Hots were plagued by the penalty bug, losing 19 skater-minutes to the box (including four minutes of jammer penalties). The Jawbreakers managed to lose only10 skater-minutes to the box in the half (none of them jammers). In the jams in which the Red Hots had their jammer in the box for at least part of a jam, the Jawbreakers outscored them 22-0, making a power jam advantage for the game of 55-0. Take away those 55 points, and the score would have been 59-41 for the Red Hots. So, skaters, take note–spending time in the penalty box does influence the outcome of derby matches! Also, the Red Hots skater AfterParty fouled out of the game with her 7th trip to the penalty box in jam 10 of the 2nd half, even though the penalty tracking sheet only recorded six trips to the box for her (so something didn’t get written down).

Statistics

The Jawbreakers’ scoring was led by Lost and Found, scoring 37 points while jamming 8 times, getting lead jammer 50% of the time, and with 6 grand slams. She also led all jammers in the game with a jammer plus/minus rating of +22, meaning her team scored 22 more points than the opposition when Lost and Found was jamming. Miss Bea Haven did a nice job jamming with 21 points in 7 jams, getting 6 leads and 3 slams (with a jammer +12 rating). Other scorers for the ‘breakers were: Crushendo (19 points, 8 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Asian Zing (8 pts, 5 jams, 3 leads); Calamitous Intent (7 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); and Dewey Decimauler (4 pts, 1 jam, 1 lead).

The Red Hots Woody WouldDeck-Her scored 16 points in 7 jams with 4 leads and 1 grand slam, with a jammer plus/minus of +2. Her sister-in-skates, Distemperment, also had 16 points, in 8 jams with 2 leads and 2 slams, but was a -20 in the jammer plus/minus department. alterKATEshun tallied 15 points in 8 jams with 4 leads. Other Red Hots scorers were: B.A.B.S. the Bruiser (4 pts, 2 jams); De’vil (4 pts, 3 jams, 1 lead); CarolDactyl (4 pts, 4 jams, 1 lead).

The Jawbreakers’ Murder City Mistress was really on fire in the 2nd half (more than in the 1st half), dishing out 23 actions to end with a game-high total of 35 total actions for the game, including 4 jammer knockdowns. Her teammates LoveTap (22 actions) and Slammy Con Paine (19 actions) were also dishing out the pain in a fine manner. Luck B. Alady also chipped in 12 actions, amongst a team total of 122 total actions and 16 knockdowns.

The Red Hots had a very strong defensive effort put in by captain Vincent Van Ho with 33 total actions and an outstanding 10 knockdowns. Other fine Red Hots blocking efforts were by SteF-BOMB (23 actions), AfterParty (18 actions), B.A.B.S. the Bruiser (14 actions), and Ana Matronique (10 actions). The Red Hots totaled 118 total actions.

Afterthoughts

It appeared the two teams were fairly evenly matched. As I was helping with action tracking, it was hard not to notice that Murder City Mistress (JB) and Vincent Van Ho (RH) were dominating the blocking stats as they both seemed to delight in hitting the opposing skaters. Both teams were also working hard to build resilient blocking walls, and working at ways to attack the other team’s walls. It seemed most of the packs were fairly slow and controlled, and jammers had to really work to get through the blockers. There were a total of 30 jammer knockdowns between the two teams, plus another 52 hits on the jammers, plus another 42 jammer force-outs (where jammers were blocked out of bounds), so the jammers took a lot of punishment in this game. As I mentioned above, though, the difference in the game was the Red Hots not being able to stay out of the penalty box, particularly their jammers.

The Brighton Roller Dollz have another derby coming up on March 17, this time with their travel team hosting the Traverse City Toxic Cherries. As I mentioned before, get there early so you can sit in the “suicide seats”! That’s the best place to watch a game, up close to the action. If you’re lucky, you may have a derby girl land in your lap; however, unlike a baseball game, you don’t get to take the souvenir home–you have to throw her back on the track!

The Brighton Roller Dollz played an intraleague derby match at the Rollerama II roller rink in Brighton on Saturday, January 14, and the Resolution Wreckers ground out a 148-92 victory over their league rivals, the Midnight Mayhem. The Wreckers were led by their Jammer MVP alterKATEshun and Blocker MVP B.A.B.S. the Bruiser; the Mayhem were led by Jammer MVP Lost and Found and Blocker MVP Bobbi Pro-Hurt.

Rosters

Resolution Wreckers: 2am After Party; 11 alterKATEshun; Lucky13 B.A.B.S. the Bruiser; 20 CarolDactyl; 1393 DeV’il; 1cc Distemperment; 3d Dropper Down Dirty; h8r Kasey Bonez; 313 Skid Rock; 7 Slippery When Wet; 72 SteF-BOMB; 31 Sunny Anarchy (asscap); 28 Vincent Van Ho (captain); 27 Woody WouldDeck-Her.

Midnight Mayhem: G6 Asian Zing; 24 Bobbi Pro-Hurt; 37 Calamitous Intent; 88 Crushendo; 796 Dewey Decimauler; 6776 Little Sinister; 70L Lost and Found (captain); 1221 LoveTap; 34 Luck B. Alady; 1200 Miss Bea Haven; 40cal Murder City Mistress (asscap); 0 Serratonin Smackdown; 4 Shameless Shananagans; 333 Zom B. Itch.

1st Half

After a demo lap to try to explain how basic roller derby works, the Resolution Wreckers grabbed an early 1-0 lead gained by their jammer, Slippery When Wet. But the Midnight Mayhem came right back in jam 2 with a 4-0 win by Crushendo to lead 4-1. The Mayhem’s Lost and Found and the Wreckers’ alterKATEshun skated to a 4-4 draw in jam 3, and jam 4 was scoreless so the Mayhem still led, 8-5. Jam 5 went to the Mayhem’s Lost and Found 4-0, stretching their lead to 12-5.

The Wreckers’ Woody WouldDeck-Her skated to a 4-0 jam 6 win, then alterKATEshun bested the Mayhem’s Crushendo 4-2 in jam 7, cutting the Mayhem’s lead to 14-13. After a scoreless jam 8, the Wreckers’ alterKATEshun ripped off a 20-0 jam in jam 9 to give her team a 33-14 lead. KATE also had four grand slams in that jam, meaning she lapped all of the other team’s skaters, including the opposing jammer, four times. The Mayhem’s Lost and Found got a grand slam of her own in jam 10, but was only able to squeak out a 5-4 jam win over Slippery When Wet. After 10 jams, the Wreckers led 37-19.

Jam 11 was scoreless, and then the Wreckers Woody WouldDeck-Her won jam 12 by a 4-1 margin over Crushendo. alterKATEshun skated to a 6-4 jam win over Lost and Found in jam 13, and then alterKATEshun got another slam in a 5-0 jam 14 win. The Mayhem’s Murder City Mistress got a 5-0 grand slam jam win in jam 15, but the Wreckers still led, 52-29.

The Midnight Mayhem sent out Miss Bea Haven to jam for her first time in the game in jam 16, and she rewarded her team with a 5-0 win with a grand slam. The Mayhem continued with a 4-1 win by Lost and Found over Woody WouldDeck-Her in jam 17 to cut the Wreckers lead to 53-40, but then alterKATEshun peeled off another outstanding 14-0 win in jam 18, getting two slams along the way. The final jam of the 1st half went to the Wreckers’ Slippery When Wet, 4-1, over Lost and Found.

At the intermission, the Wreckers led the Mayhem 71-41, a not insurmountable lead in roller derby. At the half, alterKATEshun led all jammers with 53 points (for the Wreckers); the Mayhem were led in scoring by Lost and Found with 22 points. Defensively, AfterParty led the Wreckers with 20 “attacks” (i.e., defensive blocks of various types, including 4 jammer knockdowns) and captain Vincent Van Ho with 16 actions (and 5 jammer KDs). Murder City Mistress led the Mayhem’s defense with 16 attacks (1 jammer KD). The Mayhem’s LoveTap also had 8 “assists” which are offensive actions that helped her jammer past opposing skaters. By and large, the packs were fairly slow and well controlled, with not a lot of organized blocking walls. The Wreckers’ blockers were able to totally contain the Mayhem jammers in jams 9 and 18, leading to 20-0 and 14-0 jam wins for their team. Roller derby blocking is a lot like football. If the blockers can’t open a path for their jammer, she’s not going to get through to score points for her team.

2nd Half

After an opening 4-4 jam between the Mayhem’s Lost and Found and the Wreckers’ Slippery When Wet, the Wreckers did their best to wreck the Mayhem in jams 2 through 4. Jams 2 through 4 were won by alterKATEshun, Slippery When Wet, and Distemperment by 10-0 (2 slams), 14-0 (2 slams), and 15-0 (3 slams) scores, respectively. Then jam 5 was won by the Mayhem’s Zom B. Itch 10-2 (with two slams), but no matter, the Wreckers led it by 61 points at 116-55. (Note: there was an addition error on the Wreckers scoresheet in jam 4, where only 5 points were added to their previous scoring total instead of the correct 15 points, so the scoreboard from that point on showed 10 fewer points for the Wreckers than was actually the case. This narrative will mention the correct scores, however).

Jam 6 had no lead jammer, so in tractor-pulling terms it would have been called a “full pull,” although in roller derby terms it was a full two-minute jam where neither jammer could call off the jam. The Mayhem’s Lost and Found edged alterKATEshun 9-8 in that jam, with each skater getting a grand slam. The Mayhem got an 8-0 win in jam 7 by Zom B. Itch, also with a slam, but then the Wreckers came right back with a 15-0 job in jam 8 by Slippery When Wet (3 slams). Not to be too out-done, the Mayhem came right back with a 9-0 jam win in jam 9 by Zom B. Itch. Jam 10 was scoreless, and was the 4th consecutive jam for Slippery When Wet. One of the scorekeepers asked me if it was legal for a jammer to jam jam-after-jam. I answered, “yep.” Anyway, about two-thirds of the way through the final half, the Wreckers led it 139-81 (although the scoreboard claimed 129-81).

Lost and Found got a grand slam en route to a 5-0 jam 11 win for the Mayhem, then her teammate Murder City Mistress eked out a 1-0 win in jam 12. Jam 13 was scoreless. The Wreckers broke a string of 5 consecutive jams without scoring when their jammer, DeV’il, won the 14th jam 4-0. To finish off the game, the teams traded grand slams in the last two jams. First, the honors went to the Wreckers’ Woody WouldDeck-Her with a 5-0 jam 15 win, then the Mayhem’s Lost and Found returned the 5-0 favor to close out the game in jam 16. The final score was 148-92 (138-92 on the scoreboard).

In the second half, I noticed much improved pack play by the blockers, as they were forming three and four-skater walls to prevent the opposing jammer from getting by. I also noticed blockers “goating” an opposing blocker a couple of times, and I noticed some good attacks by the other team upon the aforesaid blocking walls. Usually when you watch derby at relatively new leagues, you don’t see such team tactics so early, so it was nice to see that the Brighton Roller Dollz have a grasp on derby team tactics.

Statistics

The Resolution Wreckers were led by alterKATEshun’s fine total of 71 points as a jammer, thus earning her the Jammer MVP for her team. She managed to rack up her points while jamming 13 times, gaining 6 lead jammers, and tallying 10 grand slams. She was also a plus 33 as a jammer, meaning she scored 33 more points against the opposition than they scored against her. Slippery When Wet chipped in with 42 points (13 jams, 4 leads, 5 slams); Woody WouldDeck-Her had 16 points (6 jams, 4 leads, 1 slam); Distemperment had 15 points (1 jam, 1 lead, 3 slams); and DeV’il also had 4 points (1 jam, 1 lead).

The Midnight Mayhem were led by Lost and Found’s 45 points in 15 jams, 7 leads, and  4 grand slams. other Mayhem jammers were: Zom B. Itch (27 points, 5 jams, 1 lead, 4 slams); Crushendo (7 points, 5 jams, 2 leads); Miss Bea Haven (7 points, 2 jams, 1 lead, 1 slam); Murder City Mistress (6 points, 6 jams, 3 leads, 1 slam); Asian Zing (0 points, 2 jams).

Defensively, the Wreckers were led by the bone-crunching antics of AfterParty who led all skaters with 36 total actions (29 defensive and 7 offensive). Team captain Vincent Van Ho also had a fine total of 32 total actions, including tying for most jammer knockdowns with 5. Other notable blocking efforts were turned in by SteF-BOMB (17 actions); B.A.B.S. the Bruiser (16 actions), Sunny Anarchy (13 actions); and Skid Rock (12 actions).

The Mayhem were led by a 1-2 blocking punch of asscap (that’s what we call the assistant captain in Detroit–the “asscap”) Murder City Mistress with 32 total actions, including 5 jammer knockdowns, and LoveTap, who “tapped” out a total of 31 actions, including leading all offensive blocking efforts with 16 assists. Other notable blocking performances were by: Luck B. Alady (17 actions); Bobbi Pro-Hurt (12 actions); Crushendo (11 actions); and Dewey Decimauler (10 actions).

Afterthoughts

As I mentioned in the wrap-up of the 2nd half, the level of team blocking skills by the Brighton Roller Dollz pleasantly surprised me. There are also some talented jammers weaving their way through the packs. Although I had to pay attention to action tracking (stats gathering) during the game, I thoroughly enjoyed the game, and would unhesitatingly go back to another Brighton game. Their next game is another intraleague match on February 11, and I have already marked that on my calendar as I want to attend! I would suggest if you are in the area that you would want to go and check it out in person. Try to get there early so you can sit in the “suicide seats”! That’s the best place to watch a game.

—– end of story —–

That’s what I was afraid of. I have always hung with the boys, I never really was into the girl thing. The conversation ate at me for a few days. Finally I got online and messaged the BRD Facebook page and Flashy B. Jones emailed me back the next day with the “fresh meat” agenda. I was terrified! This was a huge step for me! A million things instantly went racing through my melon: I do not hang with a bunch of girls, I grew up with guys as my best friends, and this was a bunch of women. I never go out of my “box” and never ALONE! When was the last time you were on skates, Kate? Why do you think you can do this? You don’t know the first thing about roller derby unless you count the movie “Whip It.”

I walked into the first practice a nervous and skittish chick who didn’t know crap about roller derby. It took me forever to warm up to everyone, but I did it! All on my own, I stepped out of my comfort zone! I am so glad I took this step in my life. I know I am just starting out and I have a lot to learn about this sport, and yet I have already learned so much about myself as a person, and as a player. I have became a stronger person inside and out! I have more confidence in myself even when I am covered in bruises head to toe….. AND…..I have fallen in love with this sport! The endurance, the hitting, the blocking, the encouragement (“SKATE KATE SKATE”), the ‘feel good pain,’ the positive “what we need to work on” after losing, and the rush you get after winning.

Most importantly, I have gained a second family. I can count on all of them for anything derby-related or not and that is a smoking good feeling! I can not wait to see what the Brighton Roller Dollz become. We have had a few ‘learning experiences’ and I am certain we have more to come, but in our first year of bouting we are off to a great start! I am so proud of our whole league, skaters, refs, NSO’s, and all of our helpers. Without all of you we wouldn’t be an amazing league! We all have our own crazy story of how we ended up as a Brighton Roller Doll and we are all proud to be part of this league. Bring it on 2012, “WE GOT THIS!”

It happened on the very first night.  What happened? The addiction.  It grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me to my core, so hard that it has been sixteen months since I have gone without it.  It sat on my shoulder whispering taunting “You know you want it” mantras. What’s my addiction? Roller derby.

You might laugh.  You might disagree.  You might think that I’m exaggerating or maybe even that I’m crazy.  I can tell you with utmost sincerity that I have never felt a want, a need, a desire for anything so badly.  In sixteen months, the longest I have gone without skating with my derby family has been a week.  I should have been having the time of my life in Disneyworld, but all I really wanted was my eight-wheeled world.  I think I may have missed four practices, total.  It’s difficult not to put my skates on every.single.day.  When I’m not playing, I’m traveling elsewhere to watch other teams play.  Those practices when I’ve had to sit out of a drill because of an injury are like torture to my soul.

This addiction, however, has done amazing things for me.  A lot of people in my life will look at me and say “You’ve lost a lot of weight!”  The things I have lost are greatly outnumbered by what I have gained from this addiction.  I have overcome fears.  I have stepped out of my comfort zone.  I found something that makes me happy.  I have gained a wonderful family and extended family.  And in a very real sense, I gained back the ME that has been inside for so long…just sort of sitting and waiting to come out to play.

So, yes.  I have an addiction.  When sitting in traffic jams on freeways, I think about how nice it would be to skate around it.  When someone says “pack” I think of my team.  When I am feeling down and out and dreary, I just want to skate it out.  When kids are walking in a line down the hallway, I just want to weave in and out of them.  It’s the whirring sound of the wheels.  The thunking of the running cross-overs on the wood floor.  The loud screeches of the T-stops.  Even the foul odor of the rink.  They fill my senses even when I’m not there.

Last month, when we were distributing fresh meat flyers, a woman asked “What does it take to be a derby girl?”  My answer was quite simple.  You have to want it. It takes desire, drive, and determination.  I have wanted this like nothing else in my life, and I am a stubborn Scandanavian who doesn’t give up.  Set-backs and off-days happen, but I want this and I will have it.  Call it my addiction if you want…but I am so thankful to my BRD family for coming along on this crazy trip.