As most of my derby sisters know, I’m not good with words, let alone feelings. I am not a girly-girl at all. I spent most of my days surrounded by my boyfriend’s friends while also being mad at everything I could find a reason to be mad at. I was not a very pleasant person. I was no ray of sunshine… until the day I walked into Rollerama. My entire life turned around! I’m still no ray of sunshine and have the mouth of a trucker!
My friend had introduced me to Roller Derby saying, “you like to hit people and have a lot of aggression, you should try it”. Then I heard through the grapevine that Brighton had a team. I emailed and went and, boy, did I think I was in the wrong place! Here I am covered head-to-toe in tattoos, plugs, black clothing and fishnets… I would never be accepted by these women! Why would I even bother? I don’t get along with girls and have almost zero social skills. Then after a few days (and legs burning the whole time) I started talking to a few other girls, who I learned shared the exact same feelings I did. I thought, sure, I’ll keep going until they no longer accept me. That day never came. They accepted me for who I am and still do.
I now have no idea how I lived without this! It has consumed my every moment, my poor family and other friends! I have blown off birthday parties, baby showers, and even had to pass on maid of honor in my friend’s wedding because of derby. They understand and know how I was before I started derby.
My life has done a complete change! I’m no longer pissed that the grass is green. I can’t survive one day without skating or my Dollz! We have our differences and our squabbles, but we also have each others back in everything we do. I have never been good at anything in my life, but I am good at roller derby! Or so I think.
I bring everything I have to the track. I jumped into a freezing cold lake for The Polar Plunge to raise money for The Special Olympics, ran over fire in The Warrior Dash, and have thrown up so many times because of the intense workouts we do. In fact, puking has become my thing. I’m the puker of the league! I also formed a bursa sac in my knee, suffered a concussion, many endless bruises and knee pain. My legs sometimes give out and I have muscle cramps something fierce, but I will never ever give this up, even when I’m too old to skate!
Have you ever just taken everything that pisses you off and put it into a full body check, knocked a girl out, then just gotten back in line? If not, you need to! Roller Derby saved my soul (I just can’t remember where I put it)! My derby sisters are my whole world. We bleed, sweat, scream, cry, and sometimes even pee ourselves together!
If you’re thinking that you could never be a derby girl, you could not be more wrong! I have seen girls start off pulling themselves along the wall, falling every 2 feet, throwing up on the track. They’ve turned into crossover queens, hitting machines, lead jammers, and have lost 50 pounds. I thought I could never do anything with people staring at me. Now I jam with everything I have. I have my derby sisters to thank for it. I would never have made it through without you Dollz!! Every one of you. If I’m having a bad day I have 30 ladies I can call on. I have a derby wife and to tell me when I need a reality check. I have refs that are so amazing sometimes I wanna hit them in the head for being so good, and NSO’s who come to put us girls in the box or track our penalties.
Who knows what would have become of me without this amazing thing called Roller Derby. I’m just glad it found me!